Single Mom Diva

The life and times of a single mom by choice to an amazing little boy.


Thursday, September 22, 2005

Pampering myself

Why is it always hard to remember to take care of ourselves once we have kids? Why is there such guilt at the thought of meeting our own needs?

On Saturday, Megan the 17 year old catholic girl honors student will be coming to the house to see if she can be my saviour, oops I mean mother's helper/babysitter. I am just so worn out from the weekends. Brendan is up before dawn and doesn't stop until he falls into bed at night. And he's still all about Mommy and wants me there interacting with him all the time. At least when he napped that was a break. But damnit, I feel so guilty about this. I only see him for about 2.5-3 hours each evening during the week and then our time on the weekends and I want to farm out some of that time? Okay, I know if I was partnered I'd have a break or at least not being his shining star every moment of the day, but still. And this is with me even thinking of cleaning or paying bills while he's with the babysitter.

Taking care of mom = happy child, right?

posted by Laura @ 9/22/2005 09:45:00 AM  

6 Comments:

  • At 9/22/2005 11:38 AM, Blogger littlefeet said…

    you have to take care of you...if you burn out, then you will be short and have less patience with him...and that is not fair to either one of you...

    its ok... :)

    peace...

     

  • At 9/22/2005 6:00 PM, Blogger Amybcb said…

    You definitely have to remember to take care of yourself too. I know being a mama comes first, BUT if mama isn't healthy (and mentally happy) then no one else will be. My mom was a single mom of 3 kids and she needed time off too - we used to wonder why.... hahahaha and now that I'm a mom (and a single mom for a short time period) I TOTALLY understand. We need time to nurture ourselves, to have adult conversations or even just a few moments of silence. Don't feel guilty, you are doing the right thing by giving yourself some mental relaxation so that you can be more playful and attentive when you are with your son!

     

  • At 9/22/2005 7:38 PM, Blogger Cristin said…

    Hi there, I am a long time reader of your blog. But I haven't commented yet. This comment isn't exactly related to this post, but I do agree that you should pamper yourself and it is SO hard to do so.

    What I'm commenting on is actually a comment you made on renee's (2moms4olivia) blog. You said that you were struggling with the same issues as her about having a second child and you said "I'm afraid the longer I wait to make the decision the more likely I'll make the decision to just have one child and then regret it". I was struck by that comment and thought to myself that it sounded like you answered your own ponderings. That is that you would regret it if you didn't have another one. It sounds like in your heart you want another baby. I just thought that I would share my comment on your comment LOL. I once read a woman write about the choice to have three kids and she said "you will never regret having another child, but you would probably regret not having another".

    Hope that your decision making goes smoothly

    I really enjoy your blog. And we live relatively close, I'm in Bellmore (nassau county)

    Take care, it sounds like your little boy is awesome.

     

  • At 9/22/2005 9:18 PM, Blogger Laura said…

    Thanks everyone one for the pat on the back about getting the babysitter. So far Brendan seems excited about the prospect of it, so I'm keeping my fx.

    Cristin, your comment about regrets really resonates with me. I think I do know that I will regret it if I don't have another child but I feel sort of paralyzed with this decision. As hard as it was to decide to have a child the first time, this decision is so much harder because this time I actually know what it means, kwim?

    Thanks for dropping by to lend an ear. You're right we're pretty close. I was out your way this weekend at Trader Joe's in Hewlett.

     

  • At 9/23/2005 11:12 AM, Anonymous Jojo said…

    I was struggling with the same thing, and very stressed out all the time.
    I just thought that a)I could do it all and b)my son needed my time all the time.
    I am learning to let a few things go, and occasionally take a little time for myself.
    Laura, It really does help. Our time together is much more quality time if mommy is happy!
    Hugs,
    jojo

     

  • At 9/26/2005 11:45 AM, Blogger seasonalkat said…

    Definitely you MUST take care of you. If you don't, no one will! A happy mom makes for happy kids. I am a firm believer in this! :)

     

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