A few pics

Back to blogging

After the misery of how sick he was last Saturday, Brendan made an amazing turnaround and his temp dropped and he was able to make his mini birthday party on Sunday. He had a wonderful time, played alot with his cousin Kyle, telling him he was the "best cousin". Okay, he's his only cousin, but it was really sweet. I was also so relieved that he started to get better since I was scheduled to leave for my Mall of America extravaganza on Tuesday. His temp was back to normal and was much better so off I went. Brendan was good as gold for his grandparents, and other than crying for about a minute when he and my mom dropped me at the airport, he did great. He didn't even complain when my flight got delayed for hours on Friday and myt parents kept him another night since I didn't wind up coming in until after he was asleep. I had a wonderful time on my trip. It was really nice to be able to get up when I wanted, to take long showers, to just be at leisure. I shopped till I dropped, saw a couple of movies, had lots of girl talk and just relaxed. I did miss Brendan alot though. Every time I would go into a children's store or I'd see someone with a child about his age it would just feel so strange, like something was missing. It was very weird to come home that first night and to be alone in the house.

We had a great reunion and other than a little clinginess, it's mostly been lots of mommy love. He's been alot of fun these last couple of days. First he's been very imaginative. He's been making up lots of stories and situations, like us being stuck in a large jar of peanut butter, or his losing the choo from his sneeze and only having the ah, and having to make a choo machine to get his choo back. He's also been very funny. For example, I asked Brendan to do something and instead of saying please I said por favor. He laughed when I said it and I asked him "who says por favor" thinking he'd say Dora. Instead he said "my wife says por favor". I asked him who his wife was thinking he'd say Evin who is his little girlfriend at school and he said "my wife is like a dream". I asked him again who his wife was and he pointed to me and said "you Mommy". I then asked him what a wife was and he said "a wife is a big lady who takes care of you". He also told me he's going to be a daddy when he grows up and have 60 children. I wonder if he's planning to be a donor? :)

Another day in sick land

My poor baby. He hasn't been this sick since before he had his ear tube/adenoid surgery in March of last year. His temp has been spiking above 103 every night and was running in the 101.5-102 range most of the day even with being medicated. The strep test was negative, but I called back today and brought him back in to the ped. While he was there his temp was up to 103.4, which is really high for him during the day. She gave me a script for Augmentin even though she's not sure if what he has is viral or bacterial. On Thursday, he was still in a good mood, full of fun despite the fever and the coughing and congestion. Yesterday he had his moments of needing to rest, but even then was still quite cheerful. But by last night he was just out of it. I actually managed to take his temp around 11:00 last night and to get Tylenol into him with his barely waking, he was so out of it. Today, he was just laying in my arms, like having my own personal heating pad. I did break out one of the Leapster games I got him for his birthday as an incentive for being good at the doctor's office, but he barely played with it for about 5-10 minutes when we got home and he actually agreed with no problem to go down for a nap. He's been sleeping for over an hour and 15 minutes now. My child napping, an unheard of occasion, so if I didn't already know how sick he was, I'd know now.

We were supposed to have a mini birthday party for him tomorrow at my parents. My brother, SIL and nephew are coming in for a visit and it was too difficult to work out them being there for his regular party in June, so I was going to get an ice cream cake and some decorations, but I guess that's out now. I'm also supposed to go on a trip to Minneapolis on Tuesday. It's for fun, meeting a good friend, doing some shopping at the Mall of America, just hanging out. I really hope he's on the mend by then. I won't leave him when he's like his, but I really have looked forward to this trip.

I'm just keeping my fx that either the antibiotics kick in soon or else if it's viral, that it burns out on it's own and he's back to his old self soon.

Another day in sick land

My poor baby. He hasn't been this sick since before he had his ear tube/adenoid surgery in March of last year. His temp has been spiking above 103 every night and was running in the 101.5-102 range most of the day even with being medicated. The strep test was negative, but I called back today and brought him back in to the ped. While he was there his temp was up to 103.4, which is really high for him during the day. She gave me a script for Augmentin even though she's not sure if what he has is viral or bacterial. On Thursday, he was still in a good mood, full of fun despite the fever and the coughing and congestion. Yesterday he had his moments of needing to rest, but even then was still quite cheerful. But by last night he was just out of it. I actually managed to take his temp around 11:00 last night and to get Tylenol into him with his barely waking, he was so out of it. Today, he was just laying in my arms, like having my own personal heating pad. I did break out one of the Leapster games I got him for his birthday as an incentive for being good at the doctor's office, but he barely played with it for about 5-10 minutes when we got home and he actually agreed with no problem to go down for a nap. He's been sleeping for over an hour and 15 minutes now. My child napping, an unheard of occasion, so if I didn't already know how sick he was, I'd know now.

We were supposed to have a mini birthday party for him tomorrow at my parents. My brother, SIL and nephew are coming in for a visit and it was too difficult to work out them being there for his regular party in June, so I was going to get an ice cream cake and some decorations, but I guess that's out now. I'm also supposed to go on a trip to Minneapolis on Tuesday. It's for fun, meeting a good friend, doing some shopping at the Mall of America, just hanging out. I really hope he's on the mend by then. I won't leave him when he's like his, but I really have looked forward to this trip.

I'm just keeping my fx that either the antibiotics kick in soon or else if it's viral, that it burns out on it's own and he's back to his old self soon.

Sick boy

Brendan's only been off antibiotics for about 2 weeks from a sinus infection (the first time he was on antibiotics in over a year, knock wood). He started back up with the gunky nose and a cough on Sunday, but I figured it was just a cold. Last night his temp was 101.0 and pretty much stayed around there all day today. He spent most of the day just either laying on the couch watching TV or laying on me watching TV. Poor baby hasn't been sick like this since before his surgery last year. I took him to the ped and she wasn't sure it was his sinuses again, but did say his throat was red and did a strep test that we should have the results back for tomorrow. When I had called his preschool this morning to tell them he wasn't coming in, his teacher said alot of kids have had fevers and sore throats.

He told me several times today how happy he was that we stayed home and that he wants to stay home everyday. As long as his temp isn't too high, I have to go to work tomorrow and I told him he would be going to grandma and grandpa's tomorrow and he just was so sad, I could see the tears just starting. I felt so bad. It's hell leaving a sick child in any case, but to see that sad little face, it broke my heart.

Only my child

Would find a shower curtain so fascinating.

This is an interesting age

By the beginning of the week Brendan's behavior was getting to the point where it was intolerable. There was alot of defiance and oppositional behavior, but at the same time speaking in a very babysish cutesy voice and whining constantly, acting like a baby by lying on the floor pretending he couldn't move and wanting me to pick him up, fake crying, etc. He had been this way over the weekend but not quite as bad. But then Monday as soon as I walked in the door at my parents after work, he started the baby voice and whiny behavior. We got home and it got worse and worse with him only wanting to lie on the floor and whine at me. I had a long talk with him about being a baby or a big boy and all the privileges a big boy has and how a baby can't do anything a big boy can like play with a Leapster, watch TV, play with his basketball hoop and reassuring him that big boys can still cuddle with mommy, can still cuddle with their blankie. Eventually he told me he decided he wanted to be a big boy but would slip back into the behavior in a moment's notice.

The next day as soon as I picked him up I told him about my expectations for his behavior and he did much better. I praised him whenever he acted like a big boy and gave him gentle reminders when he would lapse into the baby behavior. On Wednesday, he was much whinier. He also wanted to be fed, wanted me to undress and dress him and try to act as helpless as possible. But then bedtime rolled around and it was like someone flipped a switch in his head when he decided to put himself to bed. He grabbed his Leapster (I let him play with it before bed sometimes or else he reads), takes his blankie and Dorothy the dinosaur and tells me I can't come up with him. He goes to his room and closes the door. It's open a little because it's propped with a stuffed animal so I peek in. I see him turn on his humidifier and fix the sheets on his bed and climb up and start playing. He went up around 7:00 and I normally let him read or play until 7:20 during the week and later on the weekends. At exactly 7:20 I hear the Leapster go off. Eventually he did call me because he can't pull the blankets down that I keep over his window to keep the light out. But that was all he wanted. He reluctantly let me give him a kiss and then I was summarily dismissed. And then not 10 minutes later he was whining. I went up and he asked me to stay and held me down to him in a headlock.

Yesterday I decided to take a different tack. He lay on the floor and asked to be picked up. So I lay down too and asked him to pick me up. He said no, but did sit up and we "pulled each other up". The next time he did it, I just told him no and walked away and started doing the dishes. He edges along the floor into the kitchen until he's laying next to me and told me "If you pick me up I'll help you with the dishes." I picked him up and he ran and got his stool from the bathroom and stood next to me at the sink and did help me wash the dishes, the first time he ever did that. And then lay down on the steps and told me he was "pooped" and that I would probably need to carry him up the stairs since he couldn't walk to the potty. I told him no I think he could walk and he flailed his arms and legs and said "they don't work right when you're 3, they only work right when you turn 4" and that I could carry him until his birthday next month.

As I said, an interesting age.

Growing up, painfully

The mommy cling-on behavior of the last couple of weeks is starting to become clearer to me. I don't think now it had anything to do with my taking him to school that one day other than the behavior started to be more pronounced around then, but I can see it was already beginning before that.

At the same time Brendan has become my little cling-on shadow, he's been alternately chomping at the bit for independence. For the longest time he as Mr. Laid-back lazy boy who was perfectly content to let me dress him, bathe him, even still feed him (not that I gave in on that one). But lately it's all been about "I can do it by myself". He dresses and undresses himself. He gets in the bathtub. He soaps up his hair and body in the tub. He helps dry himself. He blows his nose without me holding the tissue. He goes into the fridge and cabinets and helps himself to food. He fills cups with water when he gets thirsty rather than whine at me to do it. He turns on the TV, gets his DVDs, swaps out the old ones, and navigates through the menus on his own. He turns on "his computer" (my old desktop) and plays by himself and then turns it off. On my laptop he enters URLs and navigates through sites with no problem. He even wants to go places by himself. After our "typerope" discussion the other day, I guess he realized that would be a tad bit impractical. He wanted to walk to the supermarket that's a few blocks away. When we crossed the street he told me I could go home now. I asked him what he'd do when he got to the next corner and he said he'd yell "MOMMY" so I could help him cross that street which is where the supermarket is. Apparently I could wait there on the corner for him until he was done and then help him cross the two streets on the way home. He was quite serious about this.

So I have little Mr. Independent who I figure must then need to revert to the Mommy cling-on for the reassurance that for all that he's independent, he's still my baby. This was brought home to me this weekend when his behavior actually mimicked a baby. He whined like in a baby voice and feigned crying and crawled to me for a cuddle. He wants me to stay with him every night when he goes to bed and a few times has asked me to stay even when I'm clearly not going anywhere like when he was putting his pajamas on after his bath. If I'm there by him I guess it makes it easier to venture away from me.

I guess this growing up isn't that easy.

He's got it all figured out

On the way home yesterday Brendan started telling me his plan if I went to the playground and he needed to come there too (what I'd be doing going to the playground without him and leaving him at home he never quite elaborated on). He told me that he's not allowed to go in the street but he'd need to cross the street to get to the playground so he'd have to get across the street without walking on it. I asked him how he would do that and he said he'd get a tightrope, or typerope as he called it. I asked him where he'd get a tightrope and he said at a store that sells four different kinds of tightropes. I asked him how he'd get the tightrope to the other side of the street and he said he'd throw it and it would tie itself to the stop sign. So now in case I ever go to the playground without him, he's all prepared.

He's a cling-on

This boy has been so mommy obsessed for the last week or so. Last Tuesday I took him to school in the morning and picked him up in the afternoon. Our normal routine is I get him out of bed and leave him at my parents. My mom does school drop-off and pick-up. But my mom had jury duty, so Brendan and I had extra time together in the morning he seems to have gotten a mommy fix and can't get over it. Since then he's been telling me all the time how much he misses me, how much he loves me. He tells my mom when I'm at work that he misses me and wants to see me. He's been hanging all over me. And he's been fighting so hard going to sleep each night. He's told me he doesn't want to sleep because he'll miss me too much if he's asleep. He wants me to sleep in his bed or for me to sleep in his. I won't do it because he hardly sleeps on the occasions I have let him sleep in my bed or when I've lain down with him in his. The last few nights he told me he couldn't got to sleep because he had a "crick" in his neck. When that didn't get him out of sleeping he told me he was having trouble breathing and then did a creditable dramatization of labored breathing. Tonight, he told me his bed is perfect for not sleeping. After I said good night, he sang a song "I love Mommy so much, I love her, love her, love her. I love my Mommy", etc. Finally he started moaning "help, help, help". When I went in he said his blankie was stuck. I pulled it out from under him (he could have rolled off of it in half a second) and did all the good nights again while he hugged me and cuddled me and nuzzled me and wouldn't let go. I love the cuddling, and I love all the Brendan love and don't mind the cling-on behavior during the day, but knock wood except when he's sick or we go through the odd phase, he's always been a good sleeper. For a long time when he was still in his crib I could leave him there and he'd happily chat and play for an hour or more before he went to bed. He's up early enough, before 6:00 on weekends, and doesn't nap, so he needs all the sleep he can get, but I hate that he feels this way before bed and I really can't give him what he wants.